Interview: Psychologist Deborah Offner On Educators As First Responders

Interview: Psychologist Deborah Offner on Educators as First Responders

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Visit the complete collection of 74 Interviews here, featuring author and researcher Angela Duckworth discussing psychology and parenting.

Each day, adults face the challenge of providing support to young people who are going through behavioral changes or experiencing a mental health crisis. However, many adults are ill-prepared to do so.

Deborah Offner, a consulting psychologist for schools in and around Boston, encountered this issue so frequently that she decided to write a guide. This urgency is growing, as a recent CDC report reveals that approximately one third of teenage girls contemplate suicide, which is the second leading cause of death for children.

"Educators as First Responders: A Teacher’s Guide to Adolescent Development and Mental Health, Grades 6-12," published by Routledge this winter, delves into the adolescent brain. Offner combines scientific knowledge about what happens during specific ages or for individuals with certain mental illnesses with real-life examples from schools that she and other educators have encountered over the years.

Throughout the book, Offner encourages readers to view youth behavior in the context of development, urging them to take off their adult hats. For instance, how does a 14-year-old brain perceive requests for explicit images? What do they perceive as the risks and rewards? What additional information is necessary to determine whether involving a counselor or parent is necessary?

"Teachers truly play significant roles in helping children develop and manage their emotional lives. They should receive more training and support to do so confidently because they are already performing these roles," said Offner, who also provides treatment to children and young adults in her private practice.

In an interview with , Offner shares best practices for adults and suggests ways in which schools can address students’ emotional needs beyond simply referring them to speak with a therapist.

The conversation has been edited for brevity and clarity. Please be aware that some responses may contain references to self-harm and suicide.

: Considering your decades of experience, is the concept of educators as first responders a new paradigm or shift? Why did you choose to write about this now?

When I mention this idea to teachers and other mental health professionals in schools, it seems quite intuitive. Of course, children turn to their teachers when they’re upset. However, this role is not recognized or acknowledged as being central.

I wrote this book to draw attention to the fact that teachers truly play significant roles in helping children develop and manage their emotional lives. They should receive more training and support to do so confidently because they are already performing these roles. I wanted to provide actionable steps and advice. I understand these students as learners, but how can I better understand them as individuals?

You dedicate a substantial portion of the book to exploring the social contexts that shape adolescence and the psychology behind their actions. Why is this understanding crucial, and how might it impact the actions of educators? What are the risks of having an "adult-centric lens," as you call it?

One of my goals when working with schools is to foster empathy in adults for what children, and even parents, go through. When teachers understand the root causes of behavior, it leads to a few important changes. They don’t take it personally when a student isn’t paying attention, forgets to do something, or displays a certain attitude. They recognize that it’s not necessarily their fault or something that could be changed if they were different. It’s a part of the student’s experience, and it’s also normal.

There are advantages to increased awareness of mental health issues in children, but at the same time, there are many common behaviors that may seem odd if you don’t understand the reasons behind them. Children do not have the same level of control, cognitive abilities, or organizational skills as adults do. Understanding this perspective normalizes some of the puzzling or frustrating behaviors, allowing educators to have a better overall understanding.

I’m curious if you have an example of a teacher having a light-bulb moment after you explained the underlying causes of a behavior.

In my role as the school counselor, I had an opportunity to speak with a therapist who was working with a student outside of school. From the therapist, I learned that the student had the most severe case of social anxiety she had ever seen. Once I understood this, I realized why the student was avoiding his teachers and appearing withdrawn. This condition is actually known as social phobia, a specific disorder. It is not simply being shy or not wanting to communicate with others. It is about the fear that others will think negatively or critically of you. The student was so sensitive to feeling like he was disappointing his teachers that he was avoiding them.

Once the teachers were aware of this, instead of becoming angry and taking it personally, they were more understanding and able to make plans to support the student. I helped the student find strategies that would work for him to connect with his teachers and improve his performance. It wasn’t a magical solution, but explaining to the faculty why the student was struggling changed the atmosphere in the room.

It’s interesting that you mentioned this example because it’s something I wanted to ask you about. What would you have done if there wasn’t a therapist to consult in that situation? How would you have addressed the student’s needs without that background information?

That’s a great question because often kids don’t have access to a therapist or someone who knows them well enough to provide such insights. My recommendation to anyone in a counseling or administrative role is to sit down with the student and listen to their perspective about what they’re experiencing. Kids often share things with a counselor that they may not tell a teacher. With the student’s consent, you can act as a liaison in certain ways. Even if the student doesn’t want you to share everything they’ve told you, gaining a better understanding of the situation can be helpful.

What signs should adults watch out for to gauge a student’s well-being while respecting their boundaries?

Every student has different boundaries. Some kids are very open and will share everything, whether you ask for it or not. Others are more guarded and don’t readily disclose personal information. This is where teachers have the advantage – they can get to know their students. Sometimes simply asking a student how they are doing can have a significant impact. Kids are often surprised and touched when a teacher shows genuine interest in their well-being. This is always a good starting point. It doesn’t mean that a student will immediately share serious problems they are facing, but it creates an environment where they feel comfortable opening up if they choose to.

Of course, if you notice any changes in behavior, like a normally alert student appearing tired or quieter than usual, it is acceptable to ask if they are feeling alright. You can mention that they seem a little different or not quite themselves that day.

You mentioned earlier that teachers sometimes struggle with determining when to involve a professional clinician or inform the student’s family. What are some factors that teachers should consider?

There are clear boundaries when it comes to physical or potential harm to the student. If a student talks about suicide, self-harm, or any other behaviors that involve concrete harm, it is crucial that you are not the only person aware of this information, especially when you are not trained to assess the seriousness or reality of the situation. It’s important to remember that sometimes self-harm does not necessarily indicate a suicide attempt, but rather a coping mechanism for distress. While it is not a positive sign, it doesn’t automatically mean that they will attempt suicide.

In situations where there is a possibility of self-harm, whether it has already occurred or might happen, it is vital to inform the student that you need to let their parents or the school counselor know. You can give the student a choice in how you inform their parents, such as if they want to be the one to tell them or if they prefer you to share the information and then have them follow up with you. There are different ways to navigate this process, but it is a clear boundary that should be followed.

What are some key guidelines to consider when a young individual reveals something traumatic or challenging to them?

When a child confides in you about a traumatic experience, it is crucial to begin by expressing gratitude for their trust and letting them know that you are glad they shared it with you. Emphasize that they don’t have to face this alone. Inquire whether they have shared this information with anyone else. Often, children confide in teachers, making you the first person they disclose the traumatic event to. It is important to know if others are aware or if the parents have already been informed. This knowledge significantly impacts the situation.

During the initial conversation, it is essential to refrain from immediately discussing reporting, filing charges, or any administrative procedures. Instead, focus on how they are coping and ask for further details if they feel comfortable sharing. A compassionate approach could involve saying, "If you are comfortable, could you provide more information about what happened? Is there anyone else you would like to inform, or is there anything else I can do to support you?"

If a person under 18 discloses that they have been sexually assaulted, it is mandatory for you to report it. However, it is not advisable to bring up this obligation in the first encounter. Generally, inform the school administration and possibly the school counselor about the situation and seek guidance on reporting procedures, making sure to involve the student and their family. In the moment, the most important thing is to be there, sit with the child, and empathize with their emotions.

Another aspect discussed in the book is the concept of compassion fatigue, which affects some educators. How does this manifest in schools, and what can educators do to prevent or manage it effectively?

Compassion fatigue is currently a significant concern in schools, as our society increasingly recognizes the prevalence of trauma and sexual assault. For instance, when a student reveals that they have been sexually assaulted, listening to their story can lead to vicarious traumatization. Additionally, it can emerge from subtler incidents, such as parental mistreatment or the student going through a challenging period of depression.

As we bring empathy to support these students, the toll on our own well-being becomes apparent. Addressing compassion fatigue involves building a support network or community and seeking guidance from mentors, supervisors, or trustworthy individuals who can share the emotional burden. It is essential to discuss these experiences with another adult or a small group. Furthermore, taking care of oneself through practices like exercise, sleep, and self-care activities is vital to prevent the onset of fatigue.

When you came across the CDC’s recent findings on the frequency of sexual assault and suicidal thoughts, how did you personally react?

As a human and a parent, the statistics were horrifying. However, as a psychologist who works extensively with high school and college girls, the findings did not surprise me. I can state, without exaggeration, that virtually every girl over 18 years old in my practice has experienced sexual assault or coercion at least once. Although I have a small practice, these girls come from diverse backgrounds and attend different schools. The pervasiveness of this issue continues to shock me, even though I am aware of its unfortunate reality.

You have also worked with young individuals involved in the foster care system and marginalized youth in Boston. For educators whose student populations are disproportionately affected by poverty, homelessness, or adverse childhood experiences, what specific considerations do you recommend when adopting a first-responder approach?

When working with students who face economic hardships, homelessness, or adverse childhood experiences, it is crucial to be sensitive and considerate, especially if you do not come from a similar background. Recognize the economic strains on these families and understand their cultural preferences when it comes to addressing and managing mental health issues. Taking these factors into account will enable you to better support the students in need.

Returning to the concept of fostering empathy, as you previously mentioned, it is important to acknowledge that certain marginalized student groups, such as girls, students of color, and queer students, are more likely to experience suicidal ideation, depression, and anxiety symptoms. Given this, are there specific forms of support that should be taken into consideration for these groups?

It is crucial to recognize that these identities may render children more vulnerable or hesitant to share information due to fears of judgment, criticism, or lack of acceptance. In my own approach, I always consider the students’ identities as they understand them and claim them, as well as my own identity and the differences that exist between us. This allows me to recognize and address any gaps that may arise.

In light of the fact that many students may come from family contexts that stigmatize mental health care or have limited access to it, what steps can schools take to be more supportive, aside from traditional talk therapy?

Organizing mental health awareness days can serve as a valuable means of support. For example, I recently visited a school that held a wellness day for middle and high school students. Various workshops were offered, and I conducted one focused on perfectionism for high school students. The event also featured guest speakers who discussed topics such as body image and dieting, which proved highly popular among the students. The day has become an event that nobody wants to miss. Activities such as therapy pet visits and caricature drawings were incorporated to emphasize the importance of wellness, recognizing that it is not solely based on academic or athletic achievements.

There are other forms of in-school support that do not necessarily involve therapy. Lunch groups can be organized for younger children, extending into middle school, where students can gather with a school counselor or someone knowledgeable about children’s needs. These groups provide an opportunity to openly discuss mental health and relationships. The focus does not have to be solely on children who are struggling; it can be a space for all students to connect with each other and a teacher.

At my current school, we invited someone who is not a therapist but rather a coach to conduct art projects with the students and create a safe space for them to chat if they wish. This activity-based approach allows students to prioritize their own well-being without feeling burdened by expectations. Implementing initiatives that demonstrate the value placed on their well-being can be immensely significant, and it is worth noting that parents do not have to pay or grant permission for such activities.

Lastly, are there any specific narratives or aspects of youth mental health that you believe are misrepresented, exaggerated, or overlooked?

From my perspective, not enough attention is given to the role of family life and the crucial support parents require in order to effectively support their children. Often, representations either idealize motherhood, romanticizing it as a special and gendered state, or focus on abusive parents, portraying extremes. However, the reality is that most parents fall somewhere in between these extremes, grappling with their own mental health issues or wrestling with the pressures imposed by parenthood. For today’s children, the impact of social media on mental health receives considerable attention, but in my experience, the quality of their relationship with their parents significantly influences how they perceive themselves and their overall well-being. It would be beneficial to prioritize initiatives that aid parents in becoming more present and supportive in meaningful ways for their children.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or via text. Additional resources can be found at SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources. For LGBTQ mental health support, feel free to contact The Trevor Project’s toll-free support line at 866-488-7386.

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